Clothing for Lizards ... & Their Humans, Too
Apparently the four-legged reptiles are very fond of “anything with fringe.”
By Lara McCaffrey
Transform your lizard into a hottie with a body. (Fashion Brand Company)
Have you ever thought: “My lizard needs a new outfit”?
If you answered “Hell yes,” Fashion Brand Company by Los Angeles artist Penelope Gazin can fulfill that need, offering an array of tiny, hip looks for your reptilian pal.
Since 2017, Fashion Brand Company has been offering strange designs for humans — think sweaters with windows and moveable curtains, pants with three leg holes, and shorts with basketballs on the butt cheeks — and yeah, they make clothes for lizards, too.
Though marketed for a generic lizard audience — their ‘fits are both unisex and one-size-fits-all — Fashion Brand Company does keep a specific reptile in mind when crafting its creations: the bearded dragon.
The “Bae Window” Sweater. Get it?! (FBC)
Native to Australia and illegal to own in Hawaii, bearded dragons are on the medium-size of lizards, generally growing no more than 1.5 to 2-feet long and weighing around a pound.
Fashion Brand Company’s lizard looks are best suited for fashionable reptiles that are not afraid to dress outrageously. Highlights of their current lizard collection include royal blue dresses with eight arms, dark green velvet jumpsuits that resemble moths, and Western fringe jackets that come with a matching tiny white cowboy hat.
Meet Jacob, he loves to shop. (FBC)
A bearded dragon named “Jacob” models the bulk of lizard products on Fashion Brand Company’s website, including a one-of-a-kind T-shirt painted with a bikini design not unlike ones you’d find at a boardwalk tourist trap.
Some of the looks are also apparently “handmade in America by a local Grandmother,” or so the description says.
A far cry from human-focused “fast-fashion” brands like H&M or Forever XXI, Fashion Brand Company’s lizard clothes range in price from $65 to $125, and are likely all bespoke and handmade.
Lizards don’t even have 8 legs… (FBC)
Of course, lizard owners on a budget can find more affordable options on the world wide web. Through Etsy, one can acquire Scottish kilts and Playboy bunny get-ups for their reptilian pals at just over $10.
But — at least according to OK Whatever’s reporting — only Fashion Brand Company offers the same designs for both humans and lizards. Which is to say, if you love how your bearded dragon looks in this red cowgirl dress, you can match her with your own for $145.
Twinning with your liz never seemed more appealing.
Twinning with your liz never seemed more appealing. (FBC)
Fashion Brand Company founder Gazin doesn’t even own a lizard which makes the fact that her store sells clothing for them even more wonderfully weird.
To learn more, OK Whatever sent a few questions to the lizard clothes mastermind via email.
Her answers weren’t exactly what we’d anticipated, but, when you consider her clothing, they weren’t a total surprise either.
Here’s what she had to say:
OK Whatever: How would you describe Fashion Brand Company for those unfamiliar with your brand?
Penelope Gazin: Fashion Brand Company is a fashion brand company.
(FBC)
What has inspired your designs?
The designs come to me in my dreams.
What’s your process for designing for lizards? What about designing for humans?
This is a secret.
Why do lizards need clothes?
Because their bodies are disgusting and should be covered up.
How did you find a bearded dragon to model for the photos on your website?
They find me.
(FBC)
Which of your lizard products is a top-seller?
Anything with fringe.
Are you most proud of any particular lizard design?
I do not feel pride. That is a sin.
What’s been the reception of your lizard clothes?
Good.
(FBC)
The reception of your human designs has been incredible — even celebs like Bethany Cosentino from Best Coast and actress Brie Larson are fans. How does it feel to see so many humans enjoying your clothes?
Good.
What do you like about lizards?
I dislike lizards.
Is there anything else regarding Fashion Brand Company you’d like to mention?
Fashion Brand Company is not liable for any injuries caused by the clothing.
Lara McCaffrey is a California-based writer with bylines in Psychology Today, San Diego CityBeat, Out There podcast, and more. When she's not writing, she enjoys anxiety cleaning her apartment.
(First published: January 8, 2020)
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